they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
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I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
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It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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