I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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