I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize