were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
