I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
