so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
