Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
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So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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