I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
