We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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