10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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