This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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