kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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