nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
