So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
