everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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