The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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