i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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