i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize
