You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
