Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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