I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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