Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
