Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
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