I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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