he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
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But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
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Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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