My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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