So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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