Well apparently he's into motor boating.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
