So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
