Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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