Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
