You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
