i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
