you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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