So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
