Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
