Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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