one might say we're banned from that church
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
