My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
