My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
