Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
