Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
