they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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