Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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