you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
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