I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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