Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
