There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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