Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
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we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
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PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.