Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.