Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
did i just pee glitter
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
