Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
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