it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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