Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
