Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
