I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize