3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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