I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
