i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
