no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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