I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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